If one of your parents was cheating....

[Charles]

Would you inform the other parent?

[grayghost]

Would you inform the other parent?

Interesting !! So lets expand on the question. Age when one would know a parent is cheating. I would think it would be a child of the age to have a knowledge of sex. If that is the point of this thread when you use the word cheating. Or do you mean cheating on your taxes, going over the speed limit when driving a car, cheating when playing a game or in sports ?? Please define what you are referring to when you say cheating.

[Notorious]

Only an idiot would tell the other parent.


Getting that information is like getting a blank check, cash in and blackmail like a mofo.

[Parrotpaul]

Pretty tough...if they were alive Dad would be 106 and mom would be 97...RIP.

If they were alive, yep...I'd tell the other and suggest he/she tell the perp to take a hike.

[afan95]

OK Paul, how about this question.
You find out from a 3rd party that one of your parents cheated (verified) on your other parent 20 or 30 years ago. Parents are both still alive. Do you tell either of them that you know?

[Wiley]

OK Paul, how about this question.
You find out from a 3rd party that one of your parents cheated (verified) on your other parent 20 or 30 years ago. Parents are both still alive. Do you tell either of them that you know?

Gotta have video verification.

[grayghost]

Would "Charles" please respond to My question ??

[GOODave]

I have to assume (as Grayghost has already said) a lot in order to answer:

1. Assuming you're asking about marital infidelity;
2. Assuming I have actual evidence and not just some busy-body neighbor's word for it;
3. Assuming I am an adult;
4. Assuming both parents are alive;
5. Assuming the "cheating" is still going on and not something 30 years in the past;
6. Assuming I know the other parent is not aware,

I would go to the offending parent, first, and talk to them. If they are contrite (I mean really sorry and not just putting on an act for my benefit) and put an end to the offense, I will let them tell their spouse.

If they do not, then yes, I will.

[Charles]

Interesting !! So lets expand on the question. Age when one would know a parent is cheating. I would think it would be a child of the age to have a knowledge of sex. If that is the point of this thread when you use the word cheating. Or do you mean cheating on your taxes, going over the speed limit when driving a car, cheating when playing a game or in sports ?? Please define what you are referring to when you say cheating.

Yes you as a person old enough to know about one of your parents having an affair.

[GOODave]

Yes you as a person old enough to know about one of your parents having an affair.

Why won't you answer his other questions?

[Charles]

Why won't you answer his other questions?

What other questions? He asked about age and definition of cheating....what else is he asking?

[GOODave]

What other questions? He asked about age and definition of cheating....what else is he asking?

SEE?

YOU CAN answer my questions.

[Hanna]

Would you inform the other parent?

Chances are - the other already knows. Each marriage is different and often partners choose to ignore the evidence, or to live with it.

You don't know how much the betrayed partner knows, whether there were discussions, counseling, etc.

Telling the betrayed partner will just embarrassed him/her. And this is true for any couple, not just parents.

[fnuts]

The new king of Trolls. Bizarre topics/questions designed to get quick attention & responses.

[grayghost]

The new king of Trolls. Bizarre topics/questions designed to get quick attention & responses.

You are so right!!!!

[GOODave]

Chances are - the other already knows. Each marriage is different and often partners choose to ignore the evidence, or to live with it.

You don't know how much the betrayed partner knows, whether there were discussions, counseling, etc.

Telling the betrayed partner will just embarrassed him/her. And this is true for any couple, not just parents.

I'm not so sure, Hanna. Whether or not the other partner knows, isn't there a duty to bring such infidelity out into the open. Your comments reminded me of what has been said of physical abuse of children: Many times, the spouse of the abuser knew what was going on but did nothing. The embarrassment already exists, whether others in the family surface it or not. And, if it's early enough in the infidelity, quite possible the offended spouse does NOT know.

Of course, there could well be family dynamics that would forbid or postpone telling: Don't want to discount those. But by and large, I believe the agrieved spouse has a right to know the character of the person to whom they're married.