Red Dawn... the saga begins

THe Nug
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Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by THe Nug » Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:07 am

Football season was set to begin in September. Red, a fifty-something man's man with a farmer's tan and beer gut that would make Al Bundy proud, was as bored as a stripper working the day shift on Monday. Red lived and died for Mater Lei football. No one knows for certain how Red got his name. Some say it was the chaffing on his inner thighs when the humidity level rose and his Wranglers were a little too tight. Others say it was because he had high blood pressure and the complexion of an albino vacationing in Mozambique. Still others say it was due to the fact he loved to don his wife's lipstick for special occasions, Ruby Red being his color de jour. There is only one thing Red enjoyed watching more than Mater Lei football, and that required Internet access and a major credit card. The later of the two was a problem.

He loved everything about Mater Lei. The Pride. The Poise. The Courage. They were all traits he wished he had. After watching a late night re-run of “The Wizard of Oz” on AMC, a light bulb went off above Red’s head. He had an idea and he would need some help…
Last edited by THe Nug on Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Ramon
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by Ramon » Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:18 am

THe Nug wrote:Football season was set to begin in September. Red, a fifty-something man's man with a farmer's tan and beer gut that would make Al Bundy proud, was as bored as a stripper working the day shift on Monday. Red lived and died for Mater Lei football. Know one knows for certain how Red got his name. Some say it was the chaffing on his inner thighs when the humidity level rose and his Wranglers were a little too tight. Others say it was because he had high blood pressure and the complexion of an albino vacationing in Mozambique. Still others say it was due to the fact he loved to don his wife's lipstick for special occasions, Ruby Red being his color de jour. There is only one thing Red enjoyed watching more than Mater Lei football, and that required Internet access and a major credit card. The later of the two was a problem.

He loved everything about Mater Lei. The Pride. The Poise. The Courage. They were all traits he wished he had. After watching a late night re-run of “The Wizard of Oz” on AMC, a light bulb went off above Red’s head. He had an idea and he would need some help…
NUG,

I like your writing style...Can I make a humble request...Do you think you might be able to write a Servite version of Red Dawn? Something with Edac, Chop, Trooper, RPW and the rest of the Friar Clan? I think you will get more understanding from the masses if you become an equal opportunity satirist.

Thanks!

Rod
Never Underestimate The Heart Of A Monarch
Back to Back CIF-SS Division 1, CIF State Open Division and National Football Champions

THe Nug
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by THe Nug » Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:27 am

RMOnAir wrote:
I like your writing style...Can I make a humble request...Do you think you might be able to write a Servite version of Red Dawn? Something with Edac, Chop, Trooper, RPW and the rest of the Friar Clan? I think you will get more understanding from the masses if you become an equal opportunity satirist.

Thanks!

Rod[/b][/color]
Maybe next time.

"Today it was announced Servite would build an extension school to Dubai slated for completion is 2010. They will make the switch to a Muslim institution and new students will be greeted by 72 virgins upon arrival. Unfortunately, 71 of those virgins will be fellow Servite brothers."

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Ramon
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by Ramon » Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:30 am

THe Nug wrote:Maybe next time.

"Today it was announced Servite would build an extension school to Dubai slated for completion is 2010. They will make the switch to a Muslim institution and new students will be greeted by 72 virgins upon arrival. Unfortunately, 71 of those virgins will be fellow Servite brothers."
Good start...Thanks NUG
Never Underestimate The Heart Of A Monarch
Back to Back CIF-SS Division 1, CIF State Open Division and National Football Champions

THe Nug
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by THe Nug » Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:39 pm

Ramon’s cell phone rang. He was in a sales meeting. The sounds of Depeche Mode’s “Mater and Servant” reverberated throughout the conference room, drawing dirty looks from his co-workers. He usually kept the phone on vibrate because of the warm, fuzzy feeling he got when someone called him, but he had forgotten to make the adjustment prior to the impromptu meeting.

“RAMON! God dammit!” barked the floor manager. “If you interrupt my meeting one more time, you’re finished. Hell, we already demoted you to Internet sales. There no where else to go. Keep this **** up and you’ll be selling camels in Bora Bora.”

Since the BMWs were not exactly flying off the shelves the bosses at Placentia BMW were a little high strung. Ramon tried to be on his best behavior because he had a wedding to pay for and he had save for the Adam’s Apple removal surgery he planned on getting for his fiancé as an engagement gift.

After the meeting Ramon looked down to see who had called him. First he checked the text messages. “Great,” he said to no one in particular. “Father O’Reilly wants me to meet him at the Irvine Yardhouse. “He always makes me dress up like Little Bo Peep,” he shrugged.

The call was from Red. He dialed him back.

“What’s up Red?”
“Hey Ramon. I need your help. I saw The Wizard of Oz last night and had a fantastic idea. Do you still have that Tin Man costume you wore for Halloween last year?
“Yeah”
“Great. Meet me on the 50-yard line at Santa Ana Bowl at Midnight. Sharp. And bring a snorkel.”

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Ramon
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by Ramon » Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:43 pm

Very funny...Except for the Adam's Apple crank about my finacee...But hey whatever...You mean it in jest...That's cool NUG...Keep up the good work :)
Never Underestimate The Heart Of A Monarch
Back to Back CIF-SS Division 1, CIF State Open Division and National Football Champions

THe Nug
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by THe Nug » Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:44 pm

Take it easy little fella. Let the big boys work on this. If we need any help posting a poll or have any questions regarding the varying differences in gas mileage between the 3 series and the 5 series, we'll let you know.

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Ramon
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by Ramon » Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:48 pm

THe Nug wrote:Take it easy little fella. Let the big boys work on this. If we need any help posting a poll or have any questions regarding the varying differences in gas mileage between the 3 series and the 5 series, we'll let you know.
The general consensus is CR is showing his true side with lameness...I think your writing shows brilliance...CR on the other hand shows hints of Mustang and Twink magazines "Fantasy" section...But hey what the hell do I know...Keep up the good work.

Rod
Never Underestimate The Heart Of A Monarch
Back to Back CIF-SS Division 1, CIF State Open Division and National Football Champions

THe Nug
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by THe Nug » Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:55 pm

RMOnAir wrote:The general consensus is CR is showing his true side with lameness...I think your writing shows brilliance...CR on the other hand shows hints of Mustang and Twink magazines "Fantasy" section...But hey what the hell do I know...Keep up the good work.

Rod[/b][/color]
I not sure what Mustang and Twink magazines read like but I'm confident they are more entertaining and informative than the wishy-washy, Sponge Bob No Pants, Boy Scout, Monarch drivel that has become your trademark/skidmark over the years. At least that's the "general consensus."

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Ramon
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by Ramon » Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:00 pm

THe Nug wrote:I not sure what Mustang and Twink magazines read like but I'm confident they are more entertaining and informative than the wishy-washy, Sponge Bob No Pants, Boy Scout, Monarch drivel that has become your trademark/skidmark over the years. At least that's the "general consensus."
I guess if Gay Porn is the measure of great writing...Sure I guess it's more entertaining than my mindless prose...Whatever NUG...You and CR are the stars of the Global Blogosphere...Just ignore me and keep writing this awesome saga!
Never Underestimate The Heart Of A Monarch
Back to Back CIF-SS Division 1, CIF State Open Division and National Football Champions

Red
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by Red » Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:18 pm

Nug, why do I have to have a beer gut?

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Ramon
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by Ramon » Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:34 pm

Red wrote:Nug, why do I have to have a beer gut?
Hey Red! Looks like the old days of OCVarsity huh?
Never Underestimate The Heart Of A Monarch
Back to Back CIF-SS Division 1, CIF State Open Division and National Football Champions

THe Nug
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by THe Nug » Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:36 pm

Red wrote:Nug, why do I have to have a beer gut?
Red,

You have several enduring qualities...the fiery temper, the ability to comment on things you absolutely know nothing about, the elephantitus of the nostrils, the one bicep that is peculiarly larger than the other, the 50-year old black woman's butt, the tramp stamp tattoo of Coach Rollinson above the aforementioned 50-year-old black woman's butt, the Tinactin burns on your toes, and the skinny, wrinkled Madonna arms.

The beer gut is just the most prominent.

Red
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by Red » Mon Jul 28, 2008 3:46 pm

Nug, I dont have a beer gut nor a tattoo.

AL BANGYA
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by AL BANGYA » Mon Jul 28, 2008 9:25 pm

yo Playa..........is that what a Bajaras looks like? I thought this was the gay guy from party of five.

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Parrotpaul
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by Parrotpaul » Mon Jul 28, 2008 10:08 pm

RMOnAir wrote: Learn to use the quote function you short bus riding fairy!

Why don't you go bobbing for Lurker82's whereabouts?
Hey, now....I ride the bus. Let's not denigrate bus riders.
"I think I may say that of all the men we meet with, nine parts of ten are what they are, good or evil, useful or not, by their education." John Locke

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AsIfYouKnew
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by AsIfYouKnew » Mon Jul 28, 2008 10:23 pm

THe Nug wrote: Maybe next time.

"Today it was announced Servite would build an extension school to Dubai slated for completion is 2010. They will make the switch to a Muslim institution and new students will be greeted by 72 virgins upon arrival. Unfortunately, 71 of those virgins will be fellow Servite brothers."
And the 72nd one will not have scored in 18 years. :shock:
When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.
Jonathan Swift

http://www.civilityinamerica.org/en/index.html

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Parrotpaul
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by Parrotpaul » Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:20 am

THe Nug wrote:
an elder gentlemen on social security,
Hey, now...let's not denigrate elder gentlemen on Social Security...my "benefit" was deposited yesterday. Right as rain..... =D>
"I think I may say that of all the men we meet with, nine parts of ten are what they are, good or evil, useful or not, by their education." John Locke

cockroach

Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by cockroach » Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:25 am

Oh well, it looks like JQP has a moderator too
And that Ramon's panties twisted around his turkey neck in record time...

C

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Ramon
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Re: Red Dawn... the saga begins

Post by Ramon » Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:30 am

cockroach wrote:Oh well, it looks like JQP has a moderator too
And that Ramon's panties twisted around his turkey neck in record time...

C
It does have a moderator...Who also warned me to not engage in personal attacks...I'm going to play by his rules...It's his board...I'm pretty good at not getting banned...You?
Never Underestimate The Heart Of A Monarch
Back to Back CIF-SS Division 1, CIF State Open Division and National Football Champions

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