Kangaroo scrotums are the new victims of global warming

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kramer
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Kangaroo scrotums are the new victims of global warming

Postby kramer » Tue May 07, 2013 9:04 am

KANGAROO SCROTUMS ARE THE NEW VICTIMS OF GLOBAL WARMING
By Wendy Syfret

But it’s only recently that climate change has threatened Australia’s hilarious but substantial kangaroo nutsack trade. The hopping marsupials’ scrotums, which are crafted into souvenir bottle-openers and key rings, have made manufacturer John Kreuger, hereby known (by me) as the King of Ballsacks, hundreds of thousands of dollars. These days, however, John’s trade is suffering due to a series of floods in Queensland—which some meteorologists believe to have been caused by climate change. The flooding has purportedly pushed kangaroos inland and away from the areas where they’re normally killed for their testicles. John told me how it feels to have his balls literally on the line.

. . .
So you’re prepared for an environmental scrotum crisis of immense proportions?

http://www.vice.com/read/kangaroo-scrot ... 0487-v20n5


I bet the kangaroos are thankful for cheeseburgers...
Last edited by John Q. Public on Tue May 07, 2013 9:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed the title to mixed case


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MDDad
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Re: Kangaroo scrotums are the new victims of global warming

Postby MDDad » Tue May 07, 2013 10:13 am

So if I read that correctly, the scrotes are still OK, but the critters have relocated farther inland, right? Because I was worried there for a second.

And how the hell do you make a bottle opener out of a beanbag?

Luca
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Re: Kangaroo scrotums are the new victims of global warming

Postby Luca » Tue May 07, 2013 10:16 am

You rub the beanbag..............Luca

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Parrotpaul
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Re: Kangaroo scrotums are the new victims of global warming

Postby Parrotpaul » Tue May 07, 2013 10:17 am

Twist off caps....the soft suede like scrotum keeps the fingers from being harshed on feisty caps. Every well-equipped Aussie carries a nutsack that will open beer bottles. :mrgreen:
"I think I may say that of all the men we meet with, nine parts of ten are what they are, good or evil, useful or not, by their education." John Locke

MDDad
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Re: Kangaroo scrotums are the new victims of global warming

Postby MDDad » Tue May 07, 2013 10:47 am

I'm almost afraid to ask, but how do you know what kangaroo scrotums feel like?

And do you know how female kangaroo nipples feel?

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Parrotpaul
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Re: Kangaroo scrotums are the new victims of global warming

Postby Parrotpaul » Tue May 07, 2013 10:58 am

MDDad wrote:I'm almost afraid to ask, but how do you know what kangaroo scrotums feel like?

And do you know how female kangaroo nipples feel?
You're so funny sometimes, MDDAD...are all accountants as uninformed about what well-equipped global types of men hold near and dear and where they shop to get them? Never felt a kangaroo nipple.....ever smelled moth balls?

Quality nutsack products for men in the know

NB...Jonathan Goldsmith shops here.
"I think I may say that of all the men we meet with, nine parts of ten are what they are, good or evil, useful or not, by their education." John Locke

MDDad
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Re: Kangaroo scrotums are the new victims of global warming

Postby MDDad » Tue May 07, 2013 12:57 pm

Parrotpaul wrote:You're so funny sometimes, MDDAD...are all accountants as uninformed about what well-equipped global types of men hold near and dear and where they shop to get them? Never felt a kangaroo nipple.....ever smelled moth balls?

I'm not an accountant now, nor have I ever been one. I can't imagine how you ever got that impression.

Rumor has it that you shouldn't refer to yourself as "well-equipped."

The last time I smelled moth balls was when I got within ten feet of Max at the Goat.

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Parrotpaul
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Re: Kangaroo scrotums are the new victims of global warming

Postby Parrotpaul » Tue May 07, 2013 1:05 pm

MDDad wrote:I'm not an accountant now, nor have I ever been one. I can't imagine how you ever got that impression.

Rumor has it that you shouldn't refer to yourself as "well-equipped."

The last time I smelled moth balls was when I got within ten feet of Max at the Goat.

My apologies...I confused you with AIYK....my error....you guys look a lot alike.

Interesting...your discussing my junk with others reveals volumes, MDDAD...but not about me?

Max had moth balls? Who knew? You have this preoccupation with what other men carry around.
"I think I may say that of all the men we meet with, nine parts of ten are what they are, good or evil, useful or not, by their education." John Locke

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SoMelo
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Re: Kangaroo scrotums are the new victims of global warming

Postby SoMelo » Tue May 07, 2013 2:40 pm

I've smelled moth balls, it was hell getting their tiny legs apart \:D/

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