Because, Florida

[John Q. Public]

Honorary Florida Man.

For many, after-work drinks are a common way of relaxing after a busy week.

But one worker in Japan could be nursing a protracted hangover after he lost a USB memory stick following a night out with colleagues.

Why? It contained the personal details of nearly half a million people.

The unnamed man placed the memory stick in his bag before an evening of drinking in the city of Amagasaki, north-west of Osaka.

He spent several hours drinking in a local restaurant before eventually passing out on the the street, local media reported.

When he eventually came around, he realised that both his bag and the memory stick were missing.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-61921222

[John Q. Public]

Not wanting to be upstaged by Huntington Beach Woman,

Nude Florida Woman arrested for burning bush at Florida intersection (Hey, I didn't write it)

Tarpon Springs. FL - A Florida woman was arrested after she allegedly set shrubs on fire while nude.

According to police, 40-year-old Ann Keorgh of Largo was found naked in the bushes of an intersection by Tarpon Springs police on Monday after an officer was dispatched to US-19 for a report of a naked woman on the side of the road.

While speaking with the subject, the responding officer smelled a burning odor and noticed smoke coming from bushes nearby.

https://wflanews.iheart.com/featured/fl ... ersection/

[John Q. Public]

Strong showing in the race for this year's Florida Man Challenge Cup, although the lack of gator could cost him.

CAPE CORAL, Fla. (WINK) – A naked man in a Florida neighborhood has been attracting the attention and concern of his neighbors.

Neighbors say the man’s home is an eyesore, with old clothes left hanging on the clothesline and damaged windows on the garage. They say the owner, identified by police as John Hennesseey, also comes out of the house without clothes on.

Brittney Coffin said her neighbor has come outside in the nude at least three times.

“I laughed, of course, because it wasn’t super crazy the first time, I just thought the guy was drunk or something and maybe forgot to put clothes on,” she said.

He also likes to start bonfires. “It’s big,” she said. “He’s throwing, like, trees and all kinds of stuff in there.”

Responding officers said, "Yeah. We know him." They told him to clean up his yard.

Previously, officers had responded when a nude Hennessy was dancing and chanting around one of his bonfires. With a knife. He was arrested and did 3 years for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without the intent to kill. Officers said he'd likely consumed psychedelic mushrooms. "He’s been going through some challenges," said one of his neighbors.

"Police say that they have not seen him break any laws since his return." Hey, it's Florida.

https://www.fox5vegas.com/2022/07/07/ma ... neighbors/

[John Q. Public]

Florida Lizard.

[John Q. Public]

PINELLAS COUNTY, Fla. - A newly released body camera video shows the moment a Florida woman accused of driving under the influence of alcohol began doing ballet and Irish folk dances while performing field sobriety tests.

According to a Pinellas County arrest affidavit, the incident happened the night of April 27 when law enforcement said Amy Harrington, 38, of Madeira Beach, crashed into the back of another vehicle on Gulf Boulevard and 140th Avenue North.

https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/flori ... iety-tests

Not real exciting 9-minute video available on the linked page.

[Wabash]

They have a long way to go to catch up to this one.

[John Q. Public]

Three Florida Women get into a fight at Chuck E. Cheese, the Family Fun Place. One pulls out a gun and a security guard knocks it out of her hand, whereupon Florida Woman #2 picks it up, fires a shot into the air and then drops it. Florida Woman #3 picks it up and throws it into a car. And then an Audi crashed into the front of the building for some reason. All three women and a Florida Man were arrested. The occupants of the Audi were taken to a local hospital.

Just another Saturday night in Brandon, Fla.

https://www.wfla.com/news/hillsborough- ... andon/amp/

[Wabash]

Blue Lives only Matter when libs are being "owned."

Florida Politics is reporting;

On Friday evening, the Florida Democratic Party issued a statement condemning Miguel.

“DeSantis-supporting Republicans are now openly calling for violence against law enforcement and the federal government,” said Florida Democratic Party spokesperson Kobie Christian. “Luis Miguel models himself on the right-wing extremism that Ron DeSantis has used to elevate himself onto the national stage.

“If elected, Miguel is promising to pass legislation encouraging ‘on sight’ shooting of law enforcement officials. Governor DeSantis needs to denounce this plan, this candidate, and the escalating attacks on the men and women of law enforcement who uphold our laws.”

Shoot FBI et al

[John Q. Public]

Florida Man says that there medical science stuff needs to be investigated.

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis announced Tuesday that he is forming a new state committee to counter policy recommendations from federal health agencies — a decision that medical professionals said will further politicize medicine in the Sunshine State.

At a news conference in South Florida, DeSantis also said he is requesting a statewide grand jury investigation into alleged “crimes and wrongdoing” related to the coronavirus vaccine. He provided few details on what specifically he wants a panel to probe, but in a press release, his office noted side effects like myocarditis, a type of heart inflammation, that have been observed in rare cases.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2 ... e-cdc-fda/

[John Q. Public]

He must have given her a vacuum cleaner or something.

PANAMA CITY, Fla. (WJHG/WECP) -The Panama City Police Department reports that a woman has been arrested and charged with first degree attempted murder after shooting her husband in the face on Christmas Eve.

Officers with PCPD said they were dispatched to a residence near West 10th Court Saturday afternoon in reference to a shooting.

When officers arrived on-scene they found a male victim suffering from a gunshot wound to the face.

Officers said the suspect, 55-year-old Kristi McCaffery, was arrested and charged with attempted First-Degree Murder and booked into the Bay County Jail.

https://www.wjhg.com/2022/12/25/woman-a ... stmas-eve/

[John Q. Public]

Florida Couple call 911 to get help burglarizing a house. And also, could they get a ride to the airport?

POINCIANA, Fla. (AP) — Two people in Florida were arrested after one of them made a 911 call to get help with moving their belongings from a home they were burglarizing, authorities said.

Deputies responded to a home Saturday after a 911 call was made but nobody spoke, the Polk County Sheriff’s Office said. At the home, the deputies concluded that nobody lived there, but they found a male suspect and his girlfriend inside the home after entering it through an unlocked door.

While talking to deputies, the female suspect told them that she had called 911 for the purpose of having law enforcement help them move their belongings from the house they were burglarizing. They also wanted to get a ride to the airport so they could spend the weekend in New York, the sheriff’s office said.

https://apnews.com/article/oddities-cri ... 7f02c4a3eb

[John Q. Public]

Florida Grand Jury calls for lawmakers to make "harboring" undocumented immigrants a felony.

The grand jury report recommends creating a third degree felony for a person who conceals or harbors an undocumented immigrant, or shields an undocumented immigrant from law enforcement detection. It also proposes a third-degree felony charge for those who transport undocumented immigrants to or within Florida.

https://apnews.com/article/ron-desantis ... cd6c3c9626

No word on if their recommendation includes Florida Men who transport immigrants from Texas to Massachusetts or if "harboring" them includes hiring them to work at your tacky country club.

[Wabash]

Florida would be a solid blue state were it not for active voter suppression.

I am betting more than one resident of Cuban ancestry will have that proposed law applied to them. Cannot wait for it to happen.

[John Q. Public]

So. Questions about non-woke education besides the dumbing down of students:

Will it affect the schools' accreditation?
Will a non-woke diploma get you into a prestigious private university or grad school?
Will there be such a thing as a Florida Rhodes Scholar?
Will Florida Students have to take remedial classes at out-of-state schools?
Will FSU and UF diplomas be seen as lesser degrees?
Will a Florida teaching credential qualify you to teach anywhere else?

Seems like there could be a lot of unintended consequences to anti-woke policies. Or are they intentional?

[joefutbol]

Will FSU and UF diplomas be seen as lesser degrees?

Absolutely not. That would be impossible.

[Wabash]

Will FSU and UF diplomas be seen as lesser degrees?

Hope not. My niece and nephew both have graduate degrees in EE from UFL.

[John Q. Public]

Florida Senator wants to CANCEL the Democratic Party

Sen. Blaise Ingoglia is sponsoring the “Ultimate Cancel Act,” which would eliminate all political parties that once used slavery as part of its platform.

While “Democratic Party” isn’t mentioned in the bill, Ingoglia said that’s his target.

“For years now, leftist activists have been trying to ‘cancel’ people and companies for things they have said or done in the past. This includes the removal of statues and memorials, and the renaming of buildings,” he said. “Using this standard, it would be hypocritical not to cancel the Democratic Party itself for the same reason.”

The measure (SB 1248) would switch Democratic voters to no-party voters or give them the option of choosing another party.

https://floridapolitics.com/archives/59 ... tic-party/

[ShiftyMutt]

We've evolved into revenge politics. It's all very Trump-esk.

[John Q. Public]

This one could be posted in 3 or 4 different threads.

Florida Man introduces bill that would require Florida Bloggers who write about Florida Politicians to register with the state

TAMPA, Fla. (WFLA) — Florida Sen. Jason Brodeur (R-Lake Mary) wants bloggers who write about Gov. Ron DeSantis, Attorney General Ashley Moody, and other members of the Florida executive cabinet or legislature to register with the state or face fines.

Brodeur’s proposal, Senate Bill 1316: Information Dissemination, would require any blogger writing about government officials to register with the Florida Office of Legislative Services or the Commission on Ethics.

In the bill, Brodeur wrote that those who write “an article, a story, or a series of stories,” about “the Governor, the Lieutenant Governor, a Cabinet officer, or any member of the Legislature,” and receives or will receive payment for doing so, must register with state offices within five days after the publication of an article that mentions an elected state official.

https://www.wfla.com/news/politics/flor ... the-state/

[John Q. Public]

Florida Man identifies as an Ohio Man.